I was taken pretty much as soon as he arrived. I felt very strange i wasn't even scared anymore. Waiting for Dr Loke, who was going to fit my pacemaker i was in a room full of over 65s who were completely knocked out after having there pacemakers fitted. The hardest thing for me at this time was that having the pacemaker, would quite possibly just not be enough, and i couldn't stop thinking about my future and all the things i wanted to do.

Two of the cardiologists assistance came and explained a little about the procedure but i couldn't really understand. Nothing they were saying was being absorbed. They took me through to the surgery room where Dr Loke was and around 5 or 6 other men and a couple of women, They did a great job at getting me relaxed. But OH MY GOD they were all stood around me and my heart sank! Haven't shaved my legs and there on show! At head height! Ha.

They inserted a needle with the anaesthetic in my right arm and hooked me up to the screen so that the doctor could see what he was doing. I grabbed a little look at all the equipment and almost threw up. Dr Loke put a screen up above my breasts so that i couldn't see what was going on.

I couldn't really feel anything painful but for around 15 minutes there was loads of pulling and pressure on the left side of my chest, I didn't make a sound until he put the pacemaker in and had to get it settled within the tissue, OUCH! they topped up the pain relief thankfully :).

The whole thing went on for around an hour, a little longer than usual procedures due to how bad my heart failure was. Which mean that i needed a bi ventricular pacemaker, with three electric leads instead of most which only need one or two. They had to keep topping the Morphine up as it kept wearing off. I was so uncomfortable but had absolutely no energy. As i had been breast feeding Thomas for 7 Weeks and then just had to stop, i developed mastitis just to top things off :).

I went back to the room with all the oldies for a few minutes, then i was taken back to the critical care unit. Rob was waiting for me. We sort of had a strange chat as i drifted off to sleep due to all the Morphine and pain relief. I was trying but i couldn't stay awake, Rob left at around 8 o'clock. I woke up at 9 o'clock and couldn't go back to sleep. Great! All on my own listening to all the emergencies that were going on around me.