That was pretty much it for the night, Rob left at around 9pm and the nurses bought in a cot for Thomas.
I really struggled for a couple of nights, trying to care for Thomas with little help. I could hardly sleep and everytime i looked at Thomas he had completeley changed his position in the cot, as he was used to his little moses basket. At least he was comfy :).


I kept asking questions but no one really told me anything which made me paranoid. The doctors were asking me really strange questions such as "have you ever had restless legs" and "headaches".


I was told that i was going for a CT scan and an Echocardiogram (Ultrasound of the heart) but i still wasn't told why! My mum and dad arrived and took Thomas for a walk whilst i had the CT scan. On the way back to the ward, the nurse was asking if i was ok and i just said no whats going on? She told me that i have a large heart but the doctors don't know why and they need to investigate further. When i got back to the ward, my mum and dad were waiting, i told them i had a big heart and dad said "yeah we know thats why you love puppies!" We really didn't know how serious the situation was.


My mum and dad left the hospital at around 1pm as Rob was due to visit at around 2 30pm, they left me just as the sonographer came to do the Echocardiogram, (Echo). The room was completeley silent for around 15 minutes until the sploshing sound that was the machine potraying the function of my heart filled the room, very strange!


A while later a rather abrupt nurse came in with some baby milk (formula) and told me that i'm not allowed to breast feed anymore, as the medication i need will pass through the milk. She also said that she had spoken to the councelling team so that they could help me come to terms with the fact that i can't have anymore children! Lovely way to break that to a 20 year old! I phoned my mum straight away and just burst into tears. I then phoned Rob, i wanted to tell him to his face but i thought he would be totally gutted and just want to move on, not that hes like that but i was in hysterics!


I managed to have a shower on my own as i felt quite energetic! But after i just collapsed on the bed and couldn't breathe. Thomas started crying in the cot and i wanted to get to him, and i was trying but i just couldn't move. I managed to ring the call bell and a nurse came quite quickly, popped her head in and started shouting up the corridor. All of a sudden the room was filled with doctors and nurses, I remember seeing through the oxygen mask, my mum, dad, Rob and Thomas cooped up in the corner of the room as they had just arrived.


After a few moments, i began to relax and get my breath back, this was the first time that the situation was explained to us. The doctor said that i would be transferred to Glenfield Hospital in Leicster as soon as a bed was available as they specialise in heart faliure. I was also told that the echo showed the efficiency of my heart was around 5%, the norm is probably around 70%. 


I could see my mum crying and everyone else just staring at me. I was really shocked and completeley convinced that i was a goner!

My blood pressure and oxygen levels dropped even further and i was moved to the critical care unit to wait for a bed at Glenfield.